Show, don’t tell.
We now live in a world of easily accessible dopamine hits from low effort activities.
A particularly easy one is telling people what you are going to do.
It’s common to fall into the trap of receiving a pseudo-dopamine hit from announcing your plans without actually following through on them.
After you get that quick high, you fall prey to staying in the same place due to inaction.
I tend to rarely divulge my plans before fully executing them.
What I learned from a young age is that people can so easily crush your dreams, if you let them.
The ones who didn’t pursue their own dreams and gave up on their goals, the ones who didn’t believe in themselves, the ones filled with doubt.
I get it—life is hard—but it doesn’t mean we should play a hand in making it harder for anyone else.
The thing with disclosing our goals is we don’t know what kind of response we will get in return. We share to feel connected and receive support, but sometimes that’s not the way it goes.
Sometimes we encounter a naysayer who tries to dissuade us and instill doubts, leaving us wondering whether or not we should continue pursuing what we want.
I know it can be especially difficult when it comes from those closest to us; we are most sensitive to those we care about.
This is what makes it so crucial to refrain from allowing others to impair our judgment by moving in stealth.
I’ve always preferred keeping my ideas to myself.
That isn’t to say you shouldn’t have any confidant. Now that I have my fiancé and trust that he is my biggest hype man, I frequently pitch my proposals to him first for feedback.
I will say that it helps to avoid going back to someone who’s already failed at showing up for you.
If you’re currently in a place where you don’t have anyone? No problem! You can circumvent this by becoming your own biggest cheerleader. Trust me, it beats hearing back from a negative nancy 100% of the time, every time.
Implementing my bright ideas in private allows me to freely make mistakes, and maintain the privacy of those trials and errors. If I feel bummed about fucking up, that is strictly my feeling to hold.
I don’t have to worry about any embarrassment or shame to overcome.
In a way, practicing confidentiality throughout my journey teaches me to validate my own feelings and decisions, and helps me to become a stronger and empowered individual.
I am not reliant on external validation or approval for the life I want to create.
Once I’ve achieved a goal, that’s when it feels like the right time to share the news—good news.
In the same vein, I’ve also become more cognizant of who I directly announce it to.
The last momentous occasion I had was earning my bachelor’s in 2013. While I was quietly working on my goals, I did not have anything special to celebrate in over a decade.
I spent the past 11 years happily celebrating others’ milestones instead!
When I finally had my own wins, it became apparent to me that some people lack the capability to reciprocate in kind. It was eye-opening and vastly disappointing to say the least.
The first time, I chalked it up to a fluke. As the lack of energy and enthusiasm continued for subsequent good news, I realized it was a pattern—one I had no interest in replicating.
Succeed, and there’s absolutely nothing someone can say to tear you down.
You will notice that when you’ve leveled yourself up so far, it becomes harder to hear and take to heart what someone’s got to say from way down below.
Their backhanded compliments and subtle putdowns become faint whispers that get caught in the wind.
Let nature take its course while you focus on staying the course.
Be humble and generous as you continue building your best life. It can get lonely sometimes at the top, so don’t forget to extend your hand to help another person up whenever you get a chance to.
Work smart, and enjoy the climb.
You got this!